Love Parenting LA

A Poem In Honor of African American History Month

jessica — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 03:20:29 +0000

A Poem by Jessica Williams

Musings on Black and White

When you are a white woman married to a black man, your family is black.
Your father-in-law, your husband’s aunties and cousins, whom are now your aunties and cousins, and your dear husband, who is of course your love and soul alive in another; and so, you look white on the outside (because you are) and yet, you are changed on the inside.

Sometimes, you’ll be in an environment with other white people, and they will somehow think they are “safe” to say whatever they “really think” because they are not in mixed company, and yet, although you are sitting there, a white woman alone, in truth, there is an entire black family that is sitting inside of your heart;
So, someone at the party may say something inappropriate, and something they wouldn’t say if they knew you were married to a black man; and then you speak up, of course, and they shuffle back, explain themselves, and swallow their words, but it’s out there now and they can not take it back.

When you are a white woman and you have children with a black man, you birth children who are a different race than you; they grow in your body and are birthed by you, and you are even more connected to this other ethnicity, that technically, you are not.

And your children are mixed race so their skin tone is different from each other, and different from you, and different than their father. And their features are different from each other and their hair is different from each other. Sometimes they ask about this. Sometimes your young daughter may say, “I want to cut my hair short so it will be blonde.”

In the super market, when shopping with your little daughter, upon seeing an older black woman, your daughter says to her, “I have an Auntie,” and what you know she means to say is, “I have an Auntie who looks like you.” She is at the market with her white mother, and she is three years old, and she wants this woman to know, “I see you, I know you, I am you.” She is claiming her own.

A Book Review Series In Honor of African-American History Month

jessica — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 07:38:32 +0000

By Jessica Williams

Most people know about Zora Neale Hurston’s “Their Eyes Were Watching God,” Toni Morrison’s “Song of Solomon,” Alice Walker’s “In Search of our Mother’s Gardens,” and Wallace Thurman’s, “The Blacker the Berry,” all of which I whole-heartedly recommend.

My husband was born of a black father and white mother. When I birthed our first daughter I was obsessed with reading about mixed race children. Here are a few reviews of some lesser known gems centered on being black and white.

Caucasia by Danzy Senna

This book is a page turner from jump. It is autobiographical fiction, about two sisters, Birdie and Cole, who are separated when their parents divorce. The black father takes Cole, who looks like him, along with his new black girlfriend, off to Brazil in search of racial equality illusive in the states. Birdie’s white mother takes Birdie, who “passes” for white, to a new life in New Hampshire, where no one knows of her father and sister, or of her racial identity. You feel every beat of Birdie’s heart in her attic in New Hampshire, navigating the new school, and the presence of her mom’s new white boyfriend. Eventually, Birdie leaves this second life behind in search of her sister Cole. This book explores the politics of the 1970s, race-relations both personally and politically, and most poignantly, a young woman’s emergence through adolescence and the forming of an authentic identity.

Black, White and Jewish: Autobiography of a Shifting Self, by Rebecca Walker (daughter of Alice Walker)

This is a wonderful memoir, bringing the reader intimately into the experience of this young woman’s experience with her black mother and white-Jewish father; her experiences with her cousins on her mom’s side and her insights into her father’s political work.

The Color of Water, A Black Man’s Tribute to His White Mother, by James McBride

This is a memoir and tells the story of a young man’s emergence into his identity, and his evolving relationship with his white mother, who self-identifies as “light-skinned,” and then tells him, “You’re a human being!” instead of answering if he is black or white. Eventually, his mother tells him her story, and in turn, James comes to know his own story.

Beyond the Whiteness of Whiteness by Jane Lazaree

This is a white woman’s memoir about her experience raising two sons with her black husband and the recognition that “For most of their growing up, Douglas and I defined our family as “biracial.” But that is a term we now see as problematic– as if there were an indisputable entity called race; as if young men with brown skins can every be considered “part white” in America; as if Adam, now an actor, an audition for “white” parts in film, TV or most theater; as if Khary, a young black man walking on the streets late at night, can expect to be treated by the police like a young white man because his mother is white.” This book is intimate, intellectual, and written with great love.

The Color of Family by Patricia Jones

This is a novel that explores race and family. An aunt is determined to connect with her estranged nephew who was born of her black brother and a white woman; when the father dies, the son is raised as a white man. The slow dawning and unfolding of the truth is peeled away like petals from a rose. The aunt’s love for this boy who is the last link to her brother and the nephew’s peace when he finally learns the truth about himself, an answer that speaks to an unrest he had felt his whole life, is a story I’ll never forget.

Ode To Together

jessica — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 17:49:00 +0000

Number 3

978 days together.
Momma gets a job.
“Bye, Mommy.”
“Bye, Z.”
Lunchbox, backpack, cubbyhole; a first.
Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Happy.
Momma gets sick, she is in bed.
Z is not sick.
But she is sleeping on top of Momma.
12 hours; daylight.
Just to be near.

–Jessica Williams

Free Teleclass featuring Catherine DeMonte, LMFT, hosted by Jessica Williams for www.UltimateParentingCourse.com

jessica — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:45:23 +0000

Teleclass: Co-Parenting, under one roof or two
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
6pm PST/9pm EST

Hosted by Jessica Williams

Featuring: Catherine DeMonte, MA, LMFT

Tuesday night I am co-hosting a LIVE, FREE TELECLASS, featuring marriage-family therapist, Catherine DeMonte, MA, LMFT, and would love for you to join us. I will be asking Catherine the hard questions about co-parenting and she will share her guidance and direction. This class will offer insight and solutions for co-parenting UNDER ONE ROOF OR TWO!! In addition to contributing to the Ultimate Parenting Course, Catherine is also a contributor to the book, Making Marriage A Success, Pearls of Wisdom from Experts Across the Nation. She leads workshops and lectures about relationship issues, parenting, self-esteem, and has written articles on the same topics.

In this teleclass we will look at:

When parents disagree on bedtime, media, and friendships?
Better to argue and resolve the disagreement in front of the children or maintain a united front?
Tips for a strong co-parenting relationship?
How to make a divorced co-parenting relationship more copasetic?
When one is primary parent and other parent “waltzes in and out”?
Introducing step-parents?
How to “co-parent” with other adults such as grandparents, neighbors, nanny and teacher?

Featuring: Catherine DeMonte, MA, LMFT, is a psychotherapist working with couples, individuals, children, teens and families. She created the Conscious Parenting model, a blend of child development, communication skills, and Inner-Child work. Catherine lives in Los Angeles with her husband and 2 children. www.CatherineDeMonte.com

Looking forward to sharing this call with you,

Jessica

www.LoveParentingLA.com
www.UltimateParentingCourse.com

How To Be Spontaneous AND A Good Co-Parent!

jessica — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 20:28:45 +0000

By Jessica Williams

www.LoveParentingLA.com

The open highway: freedom, adventure, the unknown…hardly on the menu when you are a mother to three young children.

When I was growing up, we had a family Thanksgiving tradition of gathering at a family cabin in the desert outside of Palm Springs with my father’s family. There were 14 first cousins and we loved rock-hopping, exploring the stream, discovering rock-caves, stalking lizards…you know, desert oasis stuff. Cut to, living in urban Los Angeles with my husband and our three children; days are busy, the holiday is upon us and one of my cousins contacts me via Facebook to propose a family reunion.

It’s been over 25 years since we’ve been together as a big group at the cabin. All of the cousins are grown. There has been alcoholism, divorce and even death…and yet, true to the circle of life, there have also been new marriages, and most notably there are now ten young cousettes, three were born this year and had yet to be introduced. I wanted to heed my cousin’s call and make the effort, and yet…the to-do list, the house, the holidays, work; just hitting the basics with three young children is hard to handle sometimes. I resigned myself to missing the family affair. I hadn’t heard confirmation from my own sister and parents who live in LA with me and I assumed they weren’t going.

On Thursday, Thanksgiving night, my parents announced that they were driving East the next day for the remainder of the reunion. Then, my younger sister informed that she, too, was partaking, and bringing her young son. I am a social-girl by nature. I love a party. I love family. I love community. I love celebration. But, I was in no way prepared for a trip. My husband had work lined up for the rest of the weekend. I still had deadlines to meet myself, not to mention Fall Cleaning and inspiring my children during their Thanksgiving break. My heart stirred.

My children had no idea that there was a party in the works; of course I didn’t mention it; I’m no fool; why invite a litany of complaints and despondency from my children who, shocker, also love a party, socializing, family and celebration. My seven year-old had already lamented that we “never do anything,” compared to our next-door neighbors who had, of course, taken off gleefully in their caravan for a long weekend in Arizona with family. (Trust me, I am working on gratitude and “glass-half-full” with my daughter.)

So, after three kiddies and one husband were tucked in bed, I lay restless until morning finally broke. I feigned sleep for one extra moment before being inundated with the standard morning requests and thought about a saying my mother had taught me years ago, “love is action.” I thought about my cousin with his new baby who had made the initial contact, asking everyone to come together. I thought about the fact that his younger brother died of cancer recently and will never meet his niece. I hopped out of bed and started breakfast for the children.

I called my father, “Dad, I can’t stand missing the reunion. I’m going to drive down tomorrow, Saturday, for one night!” “That’s sweet, Jess, but everyone leaves tomorrow. They all fly home Saturday morning. Everyone is meeting at 11am TODAY for the big reunion.” It was 9:26am. “Kids,” I said, “Pack your bags!” My kids were stunned and thrilled. I entered the bedroom where my husband had the pillow over his head and announced, “Honey, I’m driving out to Palm Springs for the night. I know you can’t go, but I can’t miss this.” He said, “You need air in your tires.” I said, “Well, then you better go get me air, because we are out-of-here!” (Co-parenting-wimpy-female-disclaimer: after my car overheated in Santa Barbara on the drive home from my sister’s wedding and we had a newborn and a two and four year-old in the car, I declared that “cars were outside of my domain” for our division of labor!)

My husband hopped out of bed and took my car to the garage while I literally opened our pantry and threw dry goods in a shopping bag. I grabbed one change of clothes and a toothbrush. I double checked my 2 1/2 year-old’s backpack (yes, she had packed her own pajamas, sweatshirt and change of clothes,) and never even bothered to check my five and seven year-old’s bags! They grabbed a stack of books, pens and paper, my husband pulled in the driveway, and we jumped in the car. It was 10:16am.

I prayed to the Gods-of-Spontaneity: “I’m taking three young children on an overnight road trip by myself; please, just give me an open highway with no traffic.” We made it to Palm Springs in record time. By noon we were surrounded by over 20 relatives for lunch and play. There was a big “Grandma’s Enchiladas” dinner party that night and of course, we were welcome and jumped right in. There was even an extra hotel room for me as one of the families decided to leave that night instead of the morning and gave me their room.

My kids and I were in hog heaven; they had their own big bed, they got to stay up late and watch a movie in our room, and we made waves in the hotel’s jacuzzi. In the end, it was just what the doctor ordered. I actually needed to “get away” after all of my work of late, and I needed the extra time with my children; and the family reunion made memories where memories should be, tucked in the hearts of our children, adding up to a childhood.

Love,

Jessica

Check out the DECEMBER TELECLASS for the Ultimate Parenting Course! Every month I host a FREE teleclass with one of our experts or an esteemed colleague. This month, I am featuring Catherine De Monte, MA, LMFT. Our topic is CO-PARENTING under one roof or two! Tuesday, December 13, 2011. 6pmPST/9pmEST. More Information Here. Our November Teleclass filled to capacity in three days so seize the day if you want in on this call!

Thankful for the Collective: You Don’t Have To Parent Alone: FREE VIDEO at www.UltimateParentingCourse.com

jessica — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 18:33:59 +0000

Hi Friends,

As most of you know, I have been putting most of my energy of late into the Ultimate Parenting Course. I interviewed several experts in the field and have been spending hours editing the footage, brought to tears as I listen to the deeply meaningful, poignant truths and insights of parenting.

There is a feature article about how the course came to be: click HERE to read.

Below is more details about the course and how it is at once a lifeline and a blueprint for conscious, connected parenting. The course is for sale but there is a FREE VIDEOwith 14 minutes of in-depth answers and quick solutions that is helpful in and of itself.

Thankful for all of us on this journey together,

Jessica

Introducing, the ULTIMATE PARENTING COURSE, a transformational online home study program: ESSENTIAL PARENTING SKILLS TO LAST A LIFETIME!!

The best of today’s parenting experts have come together in one program in the Ultimate Parenting Course. In video and audio interviews and written contributions, they draw upon the latest research in emotional intelligence, brain science and attachment theory. The result is 8 videos with multiple experts answering parents’ pertinent questions, plus a Handbook with bullet points from the videos, action exercises for integrating the material, and bonus videos with more groundbreaking information! This course is at once a life-line and a blue-print for parents everywhere.

There are 8 themes in the Ultimate Parenting Course: Parent Identity, Sleep, Feeding Your Child, Attachment, Individuation, Conflict Resolution, Co-parenting (under one roof or two), and Community. For each theme there is a video (about 30 minutes) compilation of interviews with best-selling authors, PhDs, MDs, psychotherapists, educators, and scientists committed to promoting informed, connected, effective parenting resulting in healthy, happy, and successful children. The interviews are supplemented with the Ultimate Parenting Course Handbook, which includes interview highlights, action exercises and written contributions from additional experts.

The experts are: Dr. Christine Carter, PhD (Raising Happiness); Kim John Payne, M.Ed (Simplicity Parenting); Betsy Brown Braun, MA (Just Tell Me What to Say); Elizabeth Pantley (No-Cry Sleep Solution); Catherine McCord (Creator of Weelicious); Dr. Jay Gordon, MD; FAAP, IBCLC; Dr. Laura Markham, PhD (Creator of Aha! Parenting); Dr. Linda Folden Palmer, DC (The Baby Bond); Dr. Jennifer Karon Flores DNM; Nathalie Kunin, M.Ed (Team Tutors); Sheryl Paul, MA (Conscious-Transitions); Catherine DeMonte, MA, LMFT; Carrie Dinow, MA, LMFT; Victoria Melgard, MA; Hala Khouri, MA; Shajen Joy Aziz, M.Ed (Discover the Gift); Veronika Sophia Robinson (The Mother Magazine); Bill Stierle; Jessica Williams (creator of Ultimate Parenting Course). There are also bonus videos with Elder Robert John Knapp, Dona Cici, and Actress/Mother Carrie-Anne Moss.

• Learn how to respond with empathy, navigate big changes, and augment your child’s emotional literacy

• Simplify your family life, create a strong family rhythm, and commit to your unique family’s core values

• Create an intentional parent identity, balance in parenting, and effective communication in co-parenting

• Nurture educational readiness, understand your child’s natural learning style, and create habits for academic success

• Get inspired in the kitchen, manage food sensitivities, & set your child up for a lifetime of health

• Understand the physiology of sleep, triumph over night fears, and gain the tools you need for successful naps and nighttime

The course is available immediately on-line at www.UltimateParentingCourse.com. Visit today for a FREE QUICK GUIDE VIDEO with 14 minutes of exclusive interviews giving you tangible tools and a context for guiding your children for optimum growth and development; emotionally, socially, mentally and physically.

Love,

Jessica

: Jessica Williams

A Live Television Interview and a CHANCE TO WIN A FREE ULTIMATE PARENTING COURSE!!

jessica — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:09:44 +0000

www.PasadenaCommunityNetwork.com

Hello Friends,

I am pleased to announce the lovely Jan McCarthy, host of Our Town Pasadena, will have me on the show as her guest for an hour live, televised interview, Wednesday, November 16, 2011. You can watch this broadcast here:

Channel 32 Charter Cable Television
AT & T u-verse 99 online
www.PasadenaCommunityNetwork.com, Arroyo Channel

“Our Town Pasadena” 9-10pm

Call-In with ANY QUESTIONS!! 626-794-2116

I will be explaining L.O.V.E. Parenting Techniques in detail for IMMEDIATE integration into your family system and introducing the brand new Ultimate Parenting Course; an online parenting program with 20 experts in the field. You can call-in any questions!!

ALSO, ENTER FOR THIS EXCLUSIVE CHANCE TO WIN A FREE ULTIMATE PARENTING COURSE!!

Watch this broadcast and email us your favorite technique (I will be explaining several to help the day-to-day challenges of parenting!) We will enter the email responses in a drawing and one lucky winner will win the ULTIMATE PARENTING COURSE absolutely FREE! This course launches FRIDAY, November 18, 2011!! The course contains MUST HAVE information from 20 EXPERTS in the field in 8 VIDEO interview compilations and a HANDBOOK!! Send emails to: info@ultimateparentingcourse.com.

“See” you tomorrow night!!

Best,

Jessica Williams

Creator of the Ultimate Parenting Course

Free Teleclass with Dr. Laura Markham, Ph.D

jessica — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:13:18 +0000

Thursday, November 10, 2011

6pmPDT/9pmEST

Dr. Laura Markham, Ph.D

FREE TELECLASS

“Attachment Beyond Babyhood,” and “Empathetic Limits.”

I will be interviewing Dr. Laura Markham, PhD, in a live, FREE teleclass. YOU ARE INVITED TO JOIN IN THIS EXCLUSIVE CALL!! Click here to register.

This teleclass is the kick-off for the pre-launch of the Ultimate Parenting Course. It was in writing my Ask AN Expert column for Mothering.com’s Ask An Expert forum with a global online community that I realized that rather than just teaching my parenting classes locally, I wanted to create a program for new parents across the globe. I decided to ask some of my colleagues to contribute to the course and the course quickly took on a life of its own. I have since conducted video and audio interviews with best-selling authors, PhDs, MDs, psychotherapists, educators, and scientists, all committed to conscious, evolved, respectful parenting, and supporting parents’ journey to this end. The result is 8 videos in 8 essential parenting themes with a compilation of interviews and written exercises for a truly transformational home study course.

So, join us Thursday to get some of the wisdom, research, insight and experience FOR FREE with this exclusive teleclass. Dr. Laura’s advice is immediately applicable, filled with compassion, and will make a tangible difference in the daily challenges of parenting.

Dr. Laura Markham, Ph.D is the founder of Aha! Parenting.com, which has been described as “all the parenting answers you need in one place.” Her popular Daily Inspirations offer parents Aha! moments delivered right to your Inbox. She’s regularly interviewed by media from the Joy Behar show and the Fox Morning Show to Working Mother Magazine, and serves as a parenting expert for Mothering.com, Pregnancy.org and several other websites.You can find her online at www.AhaParenting.com.

I will be hosting this call; I hope to “hear” you then!!

Love,

Jessica

“Don’t Make a Picture, Make a Mess!”–– a guest post from www.LoveParentingLA.com’s MOTHER!!

StephanieWaxman — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:30:18 +0000

Hi,

It’s me, Jessica Williams creator of L.O.V.E. Parenting. I am in the home stretch for the publication of The Ultimate Parenting Course due this month. My mom (who happens to be a children’s book author and an educator!) is here with a guest post. ENJOY!

“Don’t Make A Picture, Make A Mess!” by Stephanie Waxman

I took my 2-½ year old granddaughter Zena to the local mall for “Toddler Tuesdays.” Enthusiastic Sheri in a bright red apron directed us to a table where other toddlers sat. At each place was a cup of crayons, a cartoon of a smiling puppy, a collection of pre-cut plastic shapes, a roll of double-sided tape, and a tin pail with two eyes and a mouth printed on it. I felt overwhelmed when I saw all these supplies, so I can imagine what Zena must have felt!

The project was to finish the face on the pail using the tape and shapes. Sheri showed us how to affix the tape so that the “hat” would sit right. The cartoon picture was to be colored with the crayons. Loud music blared. Mothers sat next to children exclaiming, “Oh! That’s beautiful!”

Zena asked me to tear a strip of tape, which she then stuck onto the plastic tablecloth. I tore off another strip and showed her how to stick it on the paper, then how to stick a shape to the tape. After about 4 minutes of doing this, she climbed on my lap. Sheri was flitting from table to table offering high-fives to those who’d completed the project. When she came to our table, she gazed at Zena’s picture for a moment, then with false cheer offered, “Oh, that’s different.”

I remembered an experience I had when training to become a preschool teacher. I sat at the clay table where 3-year old Jason was concentrating intently as he rolled and stretched the clay, which got soft from his handling. He molded it carefully. It looked like a dog. Or perhaps it was a dinosaur. Careful not to assign a particular designation to his creation, I tactfully asked, “What is it?” Jason turned to me and said simply, “It’s clay.”

Whether it’s the pliable feeling of warm clay, the tactile delight of sand, the liquid magic of water, or the slippery feeling of finger-paints, young children take pleasure in the sensuality of things and how those things interact with each other. Part of their process might include the discovery that, “This clay looks like a snake!” but when adults set up a project with a desired outcome, we impose an adult expectation onto a child’s experience of process and discovery.

And if children hear their parents exclaim, “Oh! That’s beautiful!” it might feel good, but it’s confusing: why is Mom so happy that I stuck tape on paper? When a child shows her “creation,” if we say something along the lines of: “Looks like you had fun exploring how the sticky tape works!” it more accurately reflects her experience. If we keep our enthusiasm in proportion to the event and match our enthusiasm to hers, the child feels seen.

It will be a while before the idea of “representation” enters Zena’s head; for now, she’s interested in what every artist first wants to know: what do these materials do?

For information on Stephanie’s best-selling book What Is A Girl? What Is A Boy? visit Amazon.

Listen to the EXCLUSIVE interview with Alanis Morisette on New Motherhood!

jessica — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 17:34:35 +0000

Alanis Morissette

By Jessica Williams, www.LoveParentingLA.com

My friend and colleague, Sheryl Paul, MA, hosted an exclusive interview about new motherhood with the lovely Alanis Morisette. I had the pleasure of Alanis’ company at a small gathering in Venice, Ca, one evening years ago and she made quite an impression; she is a soulful, beautiful person. This interview is intimate and meaningful as Alanis faces the transition of becoming a mother with honesty and courage, sharing her discoveries with you. Alanis talks about her BIRTH, the intensity of being an ATTACHMENT PARENT, the affect of new motherhood on her IDENTITY and on her NEW MARRIAGE! She speaks with candor and an open, beautiful, human heart. As they say, MOTHERHOOD IS THE GREAT EQUALIZER! Now this exclusive interview is available online to any of you who may have missed it when it aired live last month.

CLICK HERE TO GAIN ACCESS TO THIS INTERVIEW!!

From Sheryl:

“Alanis speaks with honesty and wisdom and isn’t afraid to delve into the deeper aspects of her life, so if you’re wondering about her challenges, her joys, her fears, and how she prepared for the life-altering transition of becoming a mother, you won’t want to miss this exclusive event.” CLICK HERE TO GAIN ACCESS TO THIS INTERVIEW!

Alanis speaks of the work in Sheryl’s new home study program for preconception, pregnancy, birth and new motherhood, attending to the emotional well-being of the mother and facing the transition of a lifetime head on. I am one of the featured experts in this course and I strongly recommend you check out the free video training here:

Birthing a New Mother: A Home Study Program

Here is what Alanis has to say about the Birthing A New Mother Program:

“If any of you are trying to conceive, are pregnant or a new mother, I’m excited to announce the release of the wildly helpful home study program. This program kindly and smartly guides you through the transition of becoming a mother, even if your’e not yet pregnant. Sheryl, who engages with a circle of other teachers offers you 8 downloadable lessons so that you can prepare yourself and your relationship for the transition and emotional earthquake of becoming parents!”–Alanis Morissette

With Love,

Jessica

Private coaching available: www.LoveParentingLA.com